Climate Scientists Warn That All Super Mario Levels Will Be Underwater By 2025
PARIS — Top climate scientists released a new peer-reviewed research paper today, which warns that all Super Mario stages will become underwater levels within the next eight years.
The 350-page research paper backed by new information about rising temperatures predicts that levels such as World 1-1, high altitude levels such as World 5-3, and even indoor, lava-engulfed castles such as World 8-4 will all be primarily occupied by bloopers and cheep cheeps within the next decade.
“Today, people all around the world complain daily about having to stomp on goombas in order to kill them and go about their business,” said lead researcher, Dr. Sarah Lewis, presenting her team’s findings in front of an audience of celebrities and climate scientists in Paris. “But the sad reality is that within the next few years, goombas will be entirely extinct. All that will remain are untouchable enemies who we will be forced to navigate around while constantly sinking around them.”